There are several things I have done in my life that provided much bad karma, but those things, I believe, are behind me. I am faced with alternatives, and having made my way around the circle backwards in some purposed dance for thirty years (perhaps my whole life) without having "purposefully" done so, or without knowing that I was or had, thus, I am left with very little room for error. How do I manage this? I don't. I let it unfold in the now, and then inexplicably find myself doing things that seem backwards. That is the part of my reverse order dance that is most challenging, my actions are reactions to a reverse reflection due to my coming in backwards, and that, my fine-feathered friends, is a blessing and a curse according to what I sense as the balance within.
I often sense that I am being used since I feel that my dance's purpose is known by others, but not (consciously) by me. I know it must seem impossible, but it is true, which is why you'll often hear me say that I know without knowing.
Instinct, physical and spiritual, is my double edged sword, so to speak, for it divulges intent in all others words and actions. Not the easiest thing to grasp in reverse order flight. It took awhile, but I've found the balance. I do not fear the outcome, as a matter of fact, I find myself manifesting (scribing) an outcome that has courage as its center and peace, love in its (outward) trajectory, belief and reality in motion creating an actuality that is both known and unknown by me.
Sounds crazy, huh? Try dancing in my shell for a moment and you might get the sense of my path and where I'm heading. Actions are not always what they seem with me, my words, however, appear to counteract any negative consequences, at least that is my sense of the matter.
I often feel that I'm receiving mixed messages from those spirits that I dance with, but I continue to do so, nonetheless, because, according to my instinct, I've no viable alternative but to flush out the spirit's intent.
With all of these combinations happening simultaneously one would think it impossible for a person like me to maintain a grasp of this story's thread, yet I have and I am, with no intentions of letting go.
So, where from here? Wherever the spirit leads me...
© 2015 Mark Richard Prime