(Photo by Michelle Prime, my lovely love.
(I only see well enough to recognize the sight and sound of my shattering bones, well enough to know my fetid use is poisoning Love, so why did I squint in the daylight in my eagerness to catch a glimpse of Love, the creator’s the last thing I’d have recognized when eartH let slip her wrath.)
Belief Knocked at My Door. I do not Know Anything, I Believe...
I allowed my belief to be written inside of my spirit from what little identity I had left after asking The Mother, The Grandmother and The Great Grandmother who I was. (Maybe I should have been more careful with what I wished to know instead of just being satisfied with what I believed.)
I had no tangible belief until about a year ago when I went on a journey to discover my purpose, my identity. To begin, I had to come to the stark realization that I, Mark Richard Prime, didn't know anything. Not one thing, not even myself. The following, therefore, is not knowledge, it is simply my newfound belief, newfound in every sense, save for that which has always remained unknown to the flesh and that which for most of my life I logically deemed to be greater than self. I knew not who I was and what I was supposed to be doing.
It was an eye-opening year, to say the least. I danced and I prayed with what I considered to be the spirit of Love (with Peace), The Mother, The Grandmother, The Great Grandmother, the eartH, creation. It was both beautiful and horrific. I fasted, I followed the stars, I prayed, I cried, I laughed, I screamed, I danced with the wind and moved to the night creature's songs, I opened my eyes to who I was and to where I was and, most importantly, I asked that I be allowed to remember.
Do I now know my self and my purpose? Suffice it to say that I, without a doubt, believe I do. It’s the only thing I do “know” without actually having any evidence to present as proof, except for the obvious life that is within, beneath and all around me. My belief is the only thing I can truly say is mine (yet not owned by me). My belief sprang from a shift in my consciousness that was long overdue, it didn’t and does not stem from anyone’s doctrine, book, or another’s philosophy. It came without prompts or another’s ideas, save for that which I collected in my nearly forty-eight years of life, thoughts of what I heard, what I saw and what I experienced, a belief that I alone then fell upon in my shamanic journey and my mournful prayers.
A Child of Creation…
The idea that I’m a child of creation and that I'm a product of said Creation, and of humankind, merely a component of life in its totality (and not nearly as important as I've made myself out to be), is something that I had considered and believed to be true for most of my thinking years, but it wasn’t and isn’t that simple, I suppose it never is.
If I am indeed a child of creation, and I believe that I am, I only want to repair the things that I see as grave injustices to creation that I have been complicit in bringing about. Pollution and toxins in the water top my list, war, indifference, economic disparity and hunger and thirst are nearest to that apex.
My self-destruction beyond belief has for some time now brought me to the edges of madness. These, my ideas of love and goodness and peace, have corrected me and they now move through me with an astonishing velocity. I accept their lessons as truths, otherwise I’d be a hypocrite in my belief.
For a very long time I had been searching for something plausible to believe in, and, through my prayers, my pleas to The Mother, The Grandmother and The Great Grandmother (eartH), my belief began unfolding before me as if it were a closing prayer rather than some mere confidence. Live or die, detest or love, trust or fear, war or peace, those were my choices and they have brought me to mourn the greatest tragedy I could have ever imagined, the parasitic worthlessness I've been to creation.
My Belief Should Permeate With Love & Peace…
If, in the beginning, creation, that which has always been, formed the heavens and eartH, then it stands to reason that the eartH is equal to the heavens (Heaven) according to creation’s grand order of things. I will not say that I know it to be true, for I can’t, I will simply say that I believe it to be so. The heavens (cosmos) and eartH were created simultaneously and thus have existed for an equal measure of time and with an equal amount of necessity. Both contain identical amounts of Love and Peace; goodness, joy and eternity.
My Connection with Creation…
The following are some of the words attributed to Jesus, who, in my opinion, not only spoke his belief but walked it, too, at his own peril. (My thoughts on the equality of the aforementioned eartH and Heaven are in parenthesis.)
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Jesus: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of Heaven (as it is on eartH) belongs to them.”
Jesus: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (in Heaven as it is on eartH).”
Jesus: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied (in Heaven as it is on eartH).”
Jesus: “Blessed are the kindhearted, for they shall obtain kindness (on eartH as it is in Heaven).”
Jesus: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God (in Heaven as it is on eartH).”
Jesus: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God (on eartH as it is in Heaven).”
Jesus: “Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven (as it is on eartH).”
Jesus: “Blessed are ye, when men shall condemn you, and bully you, and shall utter all mode of evil against you wrongly for God’s sake (on eartH as it is in Heaven).”
Jesus: “Blessed are the humble, for they shall inherit the eartH (as it is in Heaven).”
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I pray that Heaven and eartH are indeed the same. I pray that my belief is reality and that I open my eyes, unchain my heart, and cleave my mind from sightlessness with time enough left to realize where I am before I destroy the kingdom of Heaven, eartH. I should have my belief, I should just never allow it to take the place of Love and Peace nor demand it of others.
I also believe that Jesus went about it the wrong way. I believe that Jesus should not have said he was speaking "God's" desires for he hadn't the right, instead he should have said his words were his belief, not truth, for, in my opinion, they are not and cannot be the same thing. Truth cannot be known in the flesh, in my humble opinion (belief). Belief is personal, not to be flung about as a blade or used as a bludgeon upon another or used to change another's belief, for that is up to them as individuals, as sons and or daughters of Love and Peace, the creator, creation, "God" if you will. (I prefer to call it Love -Peace-.) I am in no way stating that this is anything other than my own personal belief. My words are not Truth except to me and they are in no way intended to be a doctrine of any kind, in any way, shape, or form. These are the ideas of Mark Richard Prime, a mortal man, brought to me through my prayers to what I deem Peace and Love, the eartH, Heaven, in my opinion (my belief)...
The Little Children…
Learning can be done to a greater degree when I am an actor of my belief instead of merely just a speaker of it.
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Jesus: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself like (the) child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven.”
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What of that? I imagine Jesus was implying that the kingdom of Heaven is indeed the same as the kingdom of eartH? ...Is my spirit like that of little children or is my spirit like that of depraved warmongers filled with nothing more than fears that blind me to the realization of who and where I am? I hope it’s not the latter, and, if it is, I hope that I readily correct my errors and begin to live up to my duty of stewardship to Home, to Heaven, to that which asks for nothing in return from me for her Love, life and liberty and Peace on the eartH (it is Heaven, in my belief).
The little children play on the eartH as if they’re in Heaven while this adult wallowed in self-inflicted misery, a self-fulfilled prophecy of agony on eartH.
I, with my closed or half-opened arms, offered nothing but wasted efforts that were, if I am to be honest, nothing more and nothing less than indifference to and the willful destruction of life, the murder of all breath, and, ironically enough, the slow and certain suicide of myself. It is and never will be the murder of the whole of creation, for I hadn't or haven’t the authority to do so. The Mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother (eartH, Heaven, Love) will shake me off long before I am able to destroy her and her process of life will go on minus me, a lethal parasite to life.
I pray that my answer’s become like those of the little children who swim without agony in the peaceful waters of life. And I pray that my heart becomes like the hearts of little children, filled with Peace and joy for life that brims with unadulterated Love.
The Keys to the Kingdom…
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Jesus: “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of Heaven, whatever you bind on eartH will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on eartH will be loosed in Heaven.”
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In my opinion those particular words meant that Heaven and eartH are one in the same, making hell the concoction of a fearful mind, ferociously loosing itself upon the eartH by my anxious thoughts. I don't believe that hell (agony) is a fiery pit, I believe it’s what I myself made or make it, agony on eartH (eartH which is Heaven) or Heaven on eartH (which is Heaven). If only I had imagined this sooner...
I bound my limbs to my own miserable concoction of agony on eartH while the little children, with their unfettered thoughts, tenderly danced in Heaven with the whole of life.
The Kingdom of Creation…
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Jesus: “Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken from you and given to the people who will produce its fruit. He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."
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I believe here, Jesus was saying that the kingdom of God is the eartH (Heaven). I shall inherit the eartH and produce its fruit and I, knowing my duty to the eartH, The Mother, The Grandmother, The Great Grandmother, might fall along the way and could reasonably break a bone or bones, but if I'm guilty of willfully ignoring my stewardship to the eartH and to all of life, I shall not see the kingdom for what it truly is until her full weight is upon me.
Hypocrite…
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Jesus: “Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and, when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.”
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Here I believe Jesus was saying that if I follow unjust laws, I'm a hypocrite, closing my eyes to the unjust results of said laws despite them being a contamination to life on eartH and a charade to creation are as despicable as creating them. I believe he also meant that in doing so I am ignorantly and willfully omitting the larger truth due to my intractable blindness and obstinate pride, which, in turn, has caused me to fail to concede that any and all belief is actually unknowable. I, through my greedy interests and beliefs, have tragically assumed the right to destroy the original gift of life, the eartH. So, instead of me leading the lost to the understanding of Heaven as it is on eartH, I would instead bring them to a belief in hell through my own prideful actions and, in turn, make them into fearful, destructive beasts instead of loving creatures. If this is true, I shouldn’t just pray that Love and Peace fix it, I should take action to do so. Even if it’s not true, or if I don’t believe it, I should take action to fix it anyway. I believe that it is better to love everyone and everything honestly than to lie to everyone and everything, including myself. Better to continue living with my eyes wide open than it is to die in the darkness without ever having recognized where I am. At least that is what I believe to be true, but I do not know.
The Everlasting Life…
Original and eternal life belongs to Love and Peace, it is not here for my ownership in any form.
If my personal belief concludes or even hints at the ownership of anything, or if it causes harm, separation, suffering or fear, I believe that it will never result in goodness. If my belief, my imaginings and actions, are for each and all, and don't allude to ownership of any kind, cause no harm to another and bring me to recognize that my purpose is Love and Peace, then my belief pleases with a peaceful Love.
My journey has just begun, and I should always be growing along with my loving belief, thereby assuring that my faith never intimidates, divides, conquers, maims or murders the peacefulness favored by the loving creation of Love.
I don't have the ability to know anything for certain and I cannot truly know anymore than the next, but, if I imagine beyond the shadow of my own doubts that what I believe to be true will result in goodness, then I must assure myself through faith alone that it is joyous and will never visit harm upon the family of the original seed, ever.
My Purpose is to Love and be with Peace…
Love is, I believe, preferred over hate (peace over war) and I must love all of life and everything in order to endure. I believe in Love. I believe in Love toward all of existence. I must hold the eartH (eternal life) most dear, even before my precious belief(s). The Mother, The Grandmother, The Great Grandmother, eartH, is the only place I have to lay my head. Love’s the only thing that sustains me and she asks for very little, if anything, in return. Let me believe in this, that I might continue to be a steward for and of the eartH in a way that assures me (and all others) of survival of a most noble purpose. It is, I believe, what creation, Love, desires of me.
Creation is Love and Peace…
I believe that in the beginning of Love was creation and in the beginning of creation was Love. Love and Creation are eternal in my opinion. If I look around me with living eyes, Love is revealed. I must look to the stars, but also look at what’s beneath my feet and to that which faces me, for, I believe that Love can only be revealed to me if I view the whole of life and if I love with the same affections that I grant my belief. Let me smile, frown, grimace, howl, stumble, laugh, love and live, but also bow humbly to eartH's sacred ground, bend my knees in servitude of her. I know not where I am because I know not who I am. Until I know myself, Love cannot grow and without Love my self is too heavy to rise. My self is tied to everyone and everything that is before me, according to my belief.
I’ve trudged aimlessly as I sought meaning, as I searched for Love and I’ve failed to see that creation, eartH, The Mother, The Grandmother, The Great Grandmother, has been and will always be in and all around me and those after. I must reveal my stewardship before the weight becomes too great to bear, even for Love.
Who I am and why I'm here still remains a bit of a mystery, yet eternal life, in my opinion, is unquestionably breathing all around me. Either I create a loving Heaven where I am, or I continue sculpting Heaven into my own mortal image until I’ve carved the whole of Love into my self-fulfilled manifestation of agony.
My Deeds Reflect My Belief…
My deeds reflect what I believe, yet I've worn the cloth of war like a shield and brandished the mantle of my faith like a weapon. I need only act upon what I know in the flesh, the spirit will follow. I must allow my thoughts to merge with Love and be comforted by the only thing I know, that which is beneath my feet. When my thoughts, my belief, my faith, and my body bathes in creation, in Love, I will no longer be able to ignore the spirit swimming inside of all living things, no longer able to ignore the fullness of Love or disregard my duty to humbly worship at the foot of the eartH, Love.
I have spent my life bludgeoning reason and Love’s veins with poison…
I should, in my opinion, my belief, pray to the sacred gift, the eartH. I should pray to the living eartH. I should pray to Heaven, to Home, to the breath of my Love, my only beholden, the eartH. My raging spleen has caused me to be blind to my own proximity with creation. It has brought me to rake my talons across eartH's surface with ownership and with hatred filling my heart over Love. Until I recognize where I am, the frame of Heaven will continue to breathe eternal with or without my faded use and misspent affections. I must move with Love over and around the mountains and seas, for they wait on me to open my eyes, for my thoughts and actions to be a reflection of Love. I spent more time looking up for guidance than I did in looking down and recognizing what was and is beneath my feet. Looking skyward will not bring me nearer to Love, only the realization of where I am can do so according to my belief. Bow to that which sustains Love and Life. The Mother, The Grandmother, The Great Grandmother, the eartH, asks that I hold her most precious, that I worship the whole of life, that I love my breathing self, that I cherish all and everything and that I greet the eartH's affections with a smiling peace.
The Face of that Which I Cannot Know…
The questions of who, what, when, where, why and how, should bring me to seek only that which is knowable.
If I am indeed made in the image of Love, the goodness and the madness would have been ripped from my flailing and useless arms long ago. The Mother, The Grandmother and The Great Grandmother, the eartH, is patient and most loving as she breathes beneath and above my once murderous tempo. If she were not Love, she’d have woefully dropped the curtain on my murder play before the second act grew teeth, she’d have dropped the blade upon my wanton thought and the drama would have concluded, until Love wrote a new and gleaming mystery at the first glint of her newly risen and perpetual sun.
The Great Grandmother's Messages to Mark Richard Prime...
Mark Richard Prime, make sure that the heart between your questions and beliefs is a passageway to peace, a door to the righteousness born of the Love for all things, from all things and by all things.
Mark Richard Prime, if your belief prowls with hate and fear in any form, it must fade its use from your blood splattered hands.
Mark Richard Prime, if your faith has your hands lifted in favor of a vicious and thankless existence it shall never be recognized as Love... despite your fervent prayers.
Mark Richard Prime, when you've drained reason through the dry veins of your joyless lips and are unable to hear Love’s answers with clarity and peace because your questions are lifted with a soured grace, it is time to rethink your belief.
Mark Richard Prime, the oaths written of equal love and fear, heaven and hell, have no room to smile in such a shrunken space.
Mark Richard Prime, charity that has lethal weapons as its means toward peace, has already failed to offer sufficient love.
Mark Richard Prime, if what replaces the truth that breathed in you long before trespass and ownership, that which fled your original pledge, if it punctures your lungs, you'll exhale foul greed instead.
Mark Richard Prime, if you erect symbols painted without expression, without thinking, with nothing but an awareness of your precious cautions (weakened levees breaching Love), then truth is imprisoned by your soured reflections.
Mark Richard Prime, if your alarms set to sleep have found you wanting and guilty of defacing Love with the sharp edge of your lifeless affections jutting through the surface of your thoughtless shell, you must scrap your belief evermore.
Mark Richard Prime, your tears will better be served when you’re knelt in shame, it’s your courage that’s been nearly beaten to death and found breathless and gray, toothless and spirit-dead.
Mark Richard Prime, do not cover your eyes and imagine that you've written conclusions that are sacrosanct, the truth is as untouchable as the unknowable death that lurks behind your door.
Mark Richard Prime, you reveal your true prayers and your true belief when you take another’s share and with the surplus allow your greedy claws to assemble the mechanisms of war.
Mark Richard Prime, hatred is war’s twin flesh, identical bone, nothing more, nothing less, a masquerade of victory. If war has you pinned inside its spleen, leaving you gasping and babbling a hoodwinked song as ode to your final lunge you had best rethink your belief or your life will be spent with joy and thee splintering down the cliffs etched of your self-inflated image, carved from your deadened veins, loveless bits and pieces you knit into a blanket to wrap your grief in over and over until you remember the lesson.
Mark Richard Prime, if you've pushed Love beneath the murky water of your ghosts with an abundance of the air and left yourself to drown in the blood that floods the surface of your lowly beast, your belief is against Love.
Mark Richard Prime, your desire to "know" has been the death to your love and to your prayers. Your love lost its way because of curiosity and from the absence of any good found in the breathless worship of your wars. Begin again...
Mark Richard Prime, mask your love with any likeness of fear and you become its agonized reflection.
Mark Richard Prime, you must own up to your own murder by confessing that you know nothing and then divulge your role in this murderous sphere.
Mark Richard Prime, recognize your need of love’s fullness, you may still enable love with the stumbling gait that is your joy if you’ll but lift up that which smiles beneath your unhappy feet.
Mark Richard Prime, awaken! Open your heart that you may carry the fullness of love culled from the brightest affections lurking beneath your skin, a self-portrait, painted with the oils found in the bombs shuttered inside of your bones.
Mark Richard Prime, your Home is lined with spirits, yet you only use them to soften the pounding of your fouled fists and to hone your anesthetized and gnashing teeth for the agony found breathing next to the corpse of your reason.
Mark Richard Prime, if your belief isn't crafted of only Love, you will pale from the bloodletting of grace, from the use and destruction of children, from the monster that you alone have carved from out of the dis-ease found inside you, the skins that are dried up from a worship that mocks creation.
Mark Richard Prime, keep your promises, but only those that swim inside a loving frame and that retain all rights to peace.
Mark Richard Prime, don’t make love a burden, make it a flower smiling within a gentle breeze. Listen, cry, laugh, create, pray, sow, reap, live and love.
Mark Richard Prime, your thoughts are not only your own, they are the constant and solemn collection of your prayers that continually rise within and upon creation without you ever having to lift a finger or speak a word.
Mark Richard Prime, if you dug out all the musty thoughts inside of your mind and replaced them with Love, you'd realize that you’re filled with the immortal spirit, on eartH as it is in Heaven.
Mark Richard Prime, The door to love stands open within you, if you walk through it with the fullness of creation, you’ll be made aware that you‘re within the eternal kingdom of Love.
Mark Richard Prime, enter in, go and live... evermore.
© 2011 by mark prime