“Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed. In the second it is opposed. In the third, it is regarded as self evident.”
__Arthur Schopenhauer
Why did I arrive here?
(The will of Creation.)
Why did I journey to such depths, to such utter destruction of Love?
(The human will.)
Shame on me…
Why does my rage still bludgeon the progress of my belief? Could it be that the abuse of Heaven is often too much for me to witness? Might it be that I’ve begun my dance with Love and she leads me before the truth like a shaman, one step at a time, and with her gaze upon my actions reflected against my worship? Am I too ashamed to admit I’ve not been the best man for the job? I did not understand my own limitations. I still deny them their breath. They may desire another, but this is the man they got, Mark Richard Prime, and all I’ve sought in my belief is the opposite of the man I had allowed myself to become. I sought Love with my eyes closed for over half of my life. No more. …Love I sought and GodLove I found.
*~*
The next day I awoke with a start, something profound wafted through my lungs and tripped off my tongue like a drunken angel. I felt something move. Its fingers reaching back into my belief like a brain surgeon crafting a rebirth inside of my human kind. A wedding vow defeating all else, a remedy that evokes prayer bent before itself instead of spoken with pride from and to the eartH of Creation. The heavens are there for my awe, Heaven is here as my Home…
Let me rise up and declare Love to her original exactness, from the beginning to the neverend of a perpetual and unknowable harmony…
Is she ready for me to speak?
Am I speaking now and I don’t even know it?
Can I not sense a reckoning of harmonious proportion moving tenderly over the ground?
Beneath my feet rests Heaven. I cannot be any clearer than that. In my belief, beyond a shadow of any doubt (instinctually) this is Heaven. This is Home within the HeartH of Creation. Sightlessness is my kind’s infection…
If I can summon Fear to destroy any and all life isn’t it logical that I can also summon Love to save me from my self-destruction? It is time to return her gracious affections and once again shine my lamp upon her majesty. The eartH of Creation is waiting upon my arrival and God assures it. I’ve nothing to say when it comes to God’s will. Those who say otherwise to make me think I do are hoodwinked into imagining they know the unknowable, thereby self-deceived into bad intentions aimed squarely at the eartH.
I stand slack-jawed in awe of the power of full Love. I cannot begin to tell you all the things I’ve imagined while creating a belief. They run anywhere from the lovingly beautiful to the fearfully horrific. They do not release me until I’ve danced them all away.
I prayed they release me and my fears went away with theirs. Dance with my ghosts, and in me they’ll remain, dance with another’s spirits and I liberate them all…
*~*
She wavered along the path destined for Love. Nobody could have blamed her, the fear, too great to swim in full Love, came at unexpected moments, others soared as if freewill had finally been recognized for what it was, free and willful. She, my bride, is a single entity of flesh and bone and forgiveness along with a most loving spirit. So she fell away for a moment to catch her breath, who wouldn’t have done the same faced with the answer to humankind’s riddle? Most would have fallen away even further and refused to ascend again, but not she. My Love found her footing and again stepped up to the next heavenly rung and the next and within her swam a full Love for and an understanding of humankind and their failures…
The truth rests somewhere, yet, if I imagine I’ve the answer, the only belief worth remembering still has yet to be known. When it is known, I might better understand what I imagine of belief…
(Belief is a word that actually means little if belief contains anything other than truth, anything less than Love…)
Fear has little room to step into Love’s kingdom. Love is immense in her scope, leaving no room for anything less.
(Fear was born thanks to humankind’s thinking and it’s certainly grown within their shells.)
Immensely…
If fear exists outside of Love, then I must carry far too many fearful spirits than I began with…
If the spirit of Love is within me, and I believe it is, then the spirit of God, if God is nothing less than Love, must also be within me, which I believe means that it is up to me as a thinking creature to find God and Love within me, the me that I was intended to be…
(God and Love are one single entity swimming inside the spirit.)
How so?
(Beats me…)
The wind is pressing its scales of fate through my skin. The gushing spigot rushes Love’s plea to me, crying so loud that I can sense my human failure flowing beneath it all. I am sorry, God and Love! I am upon my knees begging, with a welcome heart, your forgiveness…
(You still have yet to answer how you know that God and Love are one swimming inside the spirit?)
Beats me, was the answer.
(That’s not an answer! If you don’t know, you should just say so!)
I don’t know… I know nothing more than the next of what awaits this reality, what neverend approaches on stilts made of belief, what eternal salvation extends into the grand mystery of Life…
The unknown is unknowable and the unknowable is unknown, so I thought I’d start with the Mother eartH of Creation and implement nothing but Love…
(Bet you never thought that you hid behind so much fear?)
Never did, until I began the journey to Love.
(Like you said, there’s no room for fear.)
I had to face them all, seemingly for the very first time. Is it possible that I had never faced my fears?
(Immensely…)
Fear is the opposite of Love. Purge my fear and find full Love. Purge my laughter and find full sorrow, empty my greed, war, murder, hunger and my thirst and discover I’ve only love to give…
© 2012 by mark richard prime
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